I started this email newsletter because, for a long time, I have missed the seemingly outdated tradition of writing to penpals. I like getting things in the mail, from friends. And I like writing to people. Now we have Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and email; the longstanding, old technology still useful after all these years.
So in this new era, instead of writing to one penpal, we write or talk to an audience. Our brand. Our audience. Our list. It’s all so tiresome. I don’t want to be a brand. I don’t mind having an audience, in the old sense - (in a British accent) “May I have an audience with you on Friday?”. But I like talking with people about ideas. I enjoy discussing meaningful questions, mysterious questions. I’m a person, not a brand, trying to figure it all out, and at this point in my life, I actually feel comfortable (enough) to share this with others who want to listen. But I also want a two-way dialog. So if any of this resonates with you, please subscribe. And write back, won't you? Leave a comment (below) or reply.
Mary Catherine Bateson, daughter of the revolutionary anthropologist Dr. Margaret Mead, and the wonderful Gregory Bateson, died on the second day of this year, 2021. As I said above, I’m at this point in my life where I feel like I am just starting to really enter into a new stage in my life and tap into “active wisdom”. Active wisdom is a term Mary Catherine Bateson explains in the podcast, On Being, is a new developmental stage later in life, where we have wisdom accumulated from decades on earth, but we are still physically and mentally able enough to actively engage with the wisdom and the world. In some ways, after more than four decades of life, I feel like I’m beginning anew.
Mary Catherine Bateson is famous for her book Composing a Life, in which she posits that life is an improvisation, not unlike art, and that we can artistically and creatively compose our life. This isn’t a linear, progressive kind of creation or composition, but rather more of a cyclical regeneration that evolves over time.
In photography, we learn to be decisive about what is included and excluded from the frame. Painters and other visual artists choose their colors, their textures, their lines carefully. Musicians use time as their frame and carefully choose the notes, chords, and other musical elements that should be included within that timeframe.
In our frame of life, in the time we have, which is undetermined, what are we including? And what are we excluding? Are we conscious of these choices? Or do we feel like there is some other force (fate, society, our family, our children….) that is making these choices for us? In this current era, we have more choices than I think is even humanly possible to comprehend. And yet, do we think of ourselves as artists of our own life, composing our very own being in this world?
How does a single mom of two girls - a former addict, with dyslexia, who cuts hair for a living, without a pension or 401k or higher education - improvise and determine her life? This is my mom. Despite the odds, she improvised and creatively composed a very rich and beautiful life for herself. She continues to do so. And her influence on me, subtly, delicate, but profound influence, has been to show me that the core of our being is so much greater than our title or our circumstances (or our brand). My mom isn’t going to die being renowned for anything in particular or having any kind of following or cultural influence. But her example to me and her family cannot be understated.
I have a lot to say on this and will continue to write about it. But for now I’ll leave it there. With an ode to my mom, who is a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and now even a great-grandmother. She cares for her father, who is at the end of his life, and she lives fully in her faith and “active wisdom”. I can only wish to be as wise and wonderful as as she is.
Talk to you next week. (Don’t forget to subscribe and write back)
Angie
p.s. I love you
Especially poignant now that we’re all inside looking out.
“Artists of our own life” 💙